Our youngest is going through the “sound out every sign I see” phase. He points out signs as we drive around, doing his best to read them.<\/p>\n
Last week, as we were leaving his school’s roller-skating party, the little guy called out “Look, Daddy! Look! It’s HOOT-ers.”<\/p>\n
He pronounced it like it was two separate words –\u00a0“hoot” and “ers” with a little space in the middle.\u00a0\u00a0For those of you who don’t live in Florida, Hooters is a bar that features waitresses in tight t-shirts.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I laughed. “Yep, that’s a restaurant.”<\/p>\n
“Hoot-ers,” the little guy repeated. “That’s funny. It’s like an owl!”<\/p>\n
“Can we go?” his older brother asked.<\/p>\n
“No,” my wife answered.<\/p>\n
“It’s not for kids,” I said. “It’s like a bar.”<\/p>\n
“Hoot,” my youngest said. “Hoot! I’m a hoot-er!”<\/p>\n
“Aww,” my oldest said.<\/p>\n
“Your dad can take you when you’re twenty-one,” my wife said, clearly hoping to end the discussion.<\/p>\n
“Really?” I asked.<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
Both the kids laughed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This tale lies squarely at the intersection of cute and inappropriate, all told in the shadow of the momma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,122,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-cV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=801"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}