Following the dentist\u2019s instructions, we brush the kids\u2019 teeth each evening. They do it in the morning, we do it in the evenings.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not a big fan of this particular chore, so I\u2019ve done everything I could to make it interesting. About a month ago, I thought up a fun twist: asking them questions as I brush. Since they\u2019re not allowed to close their mouths, they end up laughing and bubbling toothpaste.<\/p>\n
As amusing as this is for me, they\u2019re not quite so fond of it. Yes, they think it\u2019s funny, but it\u2019s also frustrating. In fact, it treads a rather thin line, being neither upsetting enough to warrant true anger, nor funny enough to be enjoyed.<\/p>\n
In short, it makes them start giggling nervously whenever I pick up a toothbrush.<\/p>\n
The 7-year old tried issuing stern instructions before opening his mouth: \u201cNo questions, Daddy! Just stay quiet!\u201d<\/p>\n
Didn\u2019t work.\u00a0I have a horrible habit of ignoring instructions.<\/p>\n
The 5-year old tried biting the toothbrush.<\/p>\n
That didn\u2019t work either. With his teeth together he couldn\u2019t answer questions or get his teeth brushed.<\/p>\n
Last night, however, the little guy tried a new tactic. He had his head tilted back and mouth opened wide at the time, and I had just asked him who had come to visit today.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh-ha-ha,\u201d he said, which is the closest he could come to saying \u201cSamantha.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMax?\u201d I said. \u201cHer name was Max? That doesn\u2019t sound right. What was her-\u201d<\/p>\n
His little hand swung forward and fixed itself on my mouth, stopping me from speaking.<\/p>\n
I tried to pull it away with my free hand, but he caught that in his other hand. We were stuck, neither of us able to move or speak until I finished brushing his teeth. I tried to stay focussed, but couldn\u2019t keep myself from giggling. Finally,\u00a0I pulled the toothbrush out and we called it a night.<\/p>\n
Well-played, little man. Well-played.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The little guy may have won this battle, but the war of the tooth brush is far from over. Very far.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[123,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-669","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-aN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=669"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}