The other Saturday morning, as my wife and youngest child were out walking the dogs, my seven-year old ran into the bedroom to wake me up.<\/p>\n
“Bzzzztttt,” he shouted. “I shot you with my lasers!”<\/p>\n
I rolled over to face him. My loving wife had left the bedroom lights on anyway, so sleep was pretty much out of the question.<\/p>\n
“Ahh,” I said. “I’m Energy Man. I eat energy.” I sat up and reached for him.<\/p>\n
“Na-ah,” he said, backing away. “Lasers aren’t energy.”<\/p>\n
I smiled. “Actually, they are. Light is energy, and lasters are just really intense light.”<\/p>\n
He whipped his fingers out in classic western gunfighter form and shouted “Bang, bang! I shot you with my guns.”<\/p>\n
“Uch,” I convulsed and fell back in bed. “You got me, Uck, ack, ah… energy. I’m getting stronger again.”<\/p>\n
His eyes widened and darted frantically around the room. Then he ran from light switch to light switch, turning all of them off. “Ha-ha!” he said. “Now you don’t have any energy,”<\/p>\n
I let all my breath out in one big sigh, closed my eyes, and relaxed into my pillow.<\/p>\n
It didn’t last. After a few precious moments of almost snoozing, the lights came back on.<\/p>\n
“I’m bringing you back to life,” he said. “So you can be my sidekick.”<\/p>\n
That’s the problem with being Energy Man. They never let you sleep in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The other Saturday morning, as my wife and youngest child were out walking the dogs, my seven-year old ran into the bedroom to wake me up. “Bzzzztttt,” he shouted. “I shot you with my lasers!” I rolled over to face him. My loving wife had left the bedroom lights on anyway, so sleep was pretty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-at","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=649"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/649\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}