Not so very long ago, one of my wife’s friends gave her a recipe for “Beer Bottom Chicken”. Basically, you balance your chicken on an open beer can for roasting. <\/p>\n
No, I have no idea how or why this is supposed to improve the flavor of a roast chicken. I could understand pouring the beer over the chicken maybe, but wedging the can up its backside? I don’t get it.<\/p>\n
In any case, she gave it a try one night. As she was serving it, she announced proudly that this wasn’t just any chicken, it was beer bottom chicken.<\/p>\n
The kids, of course, immediately translated her words into that special lingo known as “Kindergarten Boyspeak”<\/p>\n
“Beer Butt Chicken?” My oldest said, then started laughing. “Beer Butt Chicken?!”<\/p>\n
“No,” his little brother corrected. “Bear Butt Chicken!”<\/p>\n
“Ewww!” <\/p>\n
“No, it’s Beer Butt – I mean Bottom – Chicken.” I said. “It’s a special new recipe. It’s going to be great!”<\/p>\n
“Beer Butt Chicken?” my littlest asked, looking at it suspiciously. <\/p>\n
And, really, who could blame him?<\/p>\n
“Come on now,” my wife said. “It’s a special recipe. It supposed to be juicier than regular roast chicken and have lots of flavor.” <\/p>\n
We said our prayers and dug in – all except for my youngest. He waited to see if it was safe.<\/p>\n
“Mmm,” I said, chewing the surprisingly rubbery meat. “Nothing like a hint of boiled beer to spice up a chicken.”<\/p>\n
“Boiled beer butt,” my oldest corrected me, pulling a piece of chicken out of his mouth.<\/p>\n
My youngest looked like he was about to throw up.<\/p>\n
“Perhaps it’s actually a pizza?” I asked.<\/p>\n
“I think,” my wife said, forcing herself to swallow, “you might be right. I’ll get the phone.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Not so very long ago, one of my wife’s friends gave her a recipe for “Beer Bottom Chicken”. Basically, you balance your chicken on an open beer can for roasting. No, I have no idea how or why this is supposed to improve the flavor of a roast chicken. I could understand pouring the beer […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-9W","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}