{"id":540,"date":"2008-12-19T13:59:34","date_gmt":"2008-12-19T13:59:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/12\/19\/bad-excuse-436\/"},"modified":"2008-12-19T13:59:34","modified_gmt":"2008-12-19T13:59:34","slug":"bad-excuse-436","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/12\/19\/bad-excuse-436\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Excuse #436"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Working upstairs at home, I get to overhear some interesting moments in my kids life. The other day, I heard an all-time classic.<\/p>\n<p>It started with a loud crash, complete with the sound of breaking glass.<\/p>\n<p>A moment of silence followed the crash, and then I heard my oldest son&#8217;s voice raised in an urgent and convincing shout: &#8220;I didn&#8217;t do it! I didn&#8217;t! I just touched it! That&#8217;s all! I didn&#8217;t do it! I didn&#8217;t!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Heh. Good luck with that one, kiddo. Let me know how it works out for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Working upstairs at home, I get to overhear some interesting moments in my kids life. The other day, I heard an all-time classic. It started with a loud crash, complete with the sound of breaking glass. A moment of silence followed the crash, and then I heard my oldest son&#8217;s voice raised in an urgent [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8I","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=540"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/540\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}