{"id":529,"date":"2008-11-19T13:24:20","date_gmt":"2008-11-19T13:24:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/11\/19\/what-have-i-got-in-my-pockets\/"},"modified":"2008-11-19T13:24:20","modified_gmt":"2008-11-19T13:24:20","slug":"what-have-i-got-in-my-pockets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/11\/19\/what-have-i-got-in-my-pockets\/","title":{"rendered":"What have I got in my pockets?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Shortly after Halloween, I noticed my four year old wandering around the house with a huge grin on his face, chuckling to himself. There was nothing funny about what he was doing. He was walking normally. He wasn\u2019t wearing a silly costume. Everything seemed normal.<\/p>\n<p>Except for his grin.<\/p>\n<p>I watched him for a while, and then casually approached. \u201cWhat\u2019s up, big guy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He laughed. \u201cDaddy,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve got something in my pocket.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d he laughed again.<\/p>\n<p>I backed up a step and asked\u00a0\u201dWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He laughed again and shouted \u201cLook!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then he reached down the front of his pants and pulled out a Twizzler.<\/p>\n<p>My instinct to back up had been correct. I laughed, and left as quickly as I could &#8211; before he could offer me the Twizzler..<\/p>\n<p>In case you\u2019re wondering, <a href=\"\/?p=415\">this is the pocket he was talking about<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are some pockets that simply shouldn&#8217;t be picked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,122,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8x","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=529"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/529\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}