{"id":525,"date":"2008-11-07T14:27:13","date_gmt":"2008-11-07T14:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/11\/07\/more-than-a-bit-disturbing\/"},"modified":"2008-11-07T14:27:13","modified_gmt":"2008-11-07T14:27:13","slug":"more-than-a-bit-disturbing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/11\/07\/more-than-a-bit-disturbing\/","title":{"rendered":"More than a bit disturbing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of the ongoing challenges of my life is getting my kids to talk about their day. I ask all sorts of questions, try all sorts of different approaches. My most successful approach is to ask if they did anything fun at the playground during recess. They&#8217;re always excited to talk about the playground.<\/p>\n<p>The other day, however, this question led to a place I had never anticipated&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So, what did you do today?&#8221; I asked during dinner. &#8220;Anything fun? How about the playground?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We played Chase the Girls,&#8221; my youngest said. &#8220;Chase the Girls, Daddy.&nbsp; Chase the Girls!&#8221; He gestured dramatically with his hands.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh yeah?&#8221; I smiled. &#8220;I think I might have played that once or twice myself.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My wife rolled her eyes at me. She does that a lot.<\/p>\n<p>The little guy didn&#8217;t notice. He was too excited about the game. &#8220;Yeah, we ran and ran and ran!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did you catch them?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hey, that&#8217;s great. What did you do then?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We put them in jail!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>For some reason, I hadn&#8217;t seen that answer coming. &#8220;Jail?&#8221; I asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yep, we got them all in jail, then we lit a match and we set them on fire!&#8221; He slipped out of his chair to gesture dramatically with his hands again. &#8220;Fire!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Um, fire?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah! Then they turned into food and we ate them.&#8221; He climbed back into his chair.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Um, okay.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It was just pretend, Daddy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah, I guessed that. What did the girls do?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He smiled. &#8220;They played chase the boys! We ran and ran and ran!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What did they do when they caught you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nothing,&#8221; he shrugged. &#8220;They didn&#8217;t think of putting us in jail.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh,&#8221; I said, turning back to my meal. I feel like I should have said something more, but I really couldn&#8217;t think of anything. I mean I don&#8217;t have a speech ready for the &#8220;don&#8217;t set girls on fire and eat them&#8221; message. Do you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the ongoing challenges of my life is getting my kids to talk about their day. I ask all sorts of questions, try all sorts of different approaches. My most successful approach is to ask if they did anything fun at the playground during recess. They&#8217;re always excited to talk about the playground. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[122],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-n"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8t","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=525"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}