{"id":475,"date":"2008-07-09T13:00:24","date_gmt":"2008-07-09T13:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/07\/09\/distractions\/"},"modified":"2008-07-09T13:00:24","modified_gmt":"2008-07-09T13:00:24","slug":"distractions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/07\/09\/distractions\/","title":{"rendered":"Distractions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Prior to C having his tonsils out, he had a string of strep throat cases. One evening, he overheard us talking about the tonsils issue and asked us about it: &#8220;Take my tonsils out?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes,&#8221; his momma said. &#8220;If you have strep too many more times, it means that your tonsils are sick and the doctor has to take them out.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He didn&#8217;t like that idea one bit. Despite our assurances that he didn&#8217;t need them, he still didn&#8217;t want to lose them. So what did he do? He started hiding his sicknesses. Suddenly, his throat didn&#8217;t hurt any more. Instead, it was &#8220;just a little scratchy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I found him one afternoon, lying limply on the couch, staring at the television. It was turned off.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh big guy,&#8221; I said. &#8220;You&#8217;re looking pretty sick.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No!&#8221; He rasped, sitting up and smiling to show how healthy he was. &#8220;I&#8217;m fine!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I sat down next to him and put my arm around him. &#8220;I don&#8217;t know. Momma&#8217;s probably going to want to take your temperature later.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He hugged me. &#8220;No! Tell her not to!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I will,&#8221; I said, ruffling his hair. &#8220;But she doesn&#8217;t always listen to me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He pushed away from me. &#8220;Distract her!&#8221; He shouted. &#8220;Tickle her! Put some food out!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Put some food out?&#8221; I laughed. &#8220;Does that work?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He giggled and collapsed back into the couch &#8211; but he never answered my question. I&#8217;ve been trying to figure out how to test the theory ever since.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Prior to C having his tonsils out, he had a string of strep throat cases. One evening, he overheard us talking about the tonsils issue and asked us about it: &#8220;Take my tonsils out?&#8221; &#8220;Yes,&#8221; his momma said. &#8220;If you have strep too many more times, it means that your tonsils are sick and the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-7F","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=475"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/475\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}