{"id":33296,"date":"2014-05-26T17:34:31","date_gmt":"2014-05-26T22:34:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2295"},"modified":"2014-05-26T17:34:31","modified_gmt":"2014-05-26T22:34:31","slug":"morning-ninja-the-revenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2014\/05\/26\/morning-ninja-the-revenge\/","title":{"rendered":"Morning Ninja: The Revenge"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>After nearly <a href=\"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2291\">dying of fright the other morning<\/a>, I decided to take a more aggressive approach to waking up my oldest son on Sunday.<\/p>\n<p>I snuck into his room ten minutes before I usually wake him, tip-toed to his bed, then grabbed his ankle and pulled.<\/p>\n<p>He came awake instantly, grabbing for the headboard. When he saw it was me, he collapsed into helpless hysterics. I almost managed to drag him completely off his bed before he got himself under control and grabbed on.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Good morning,&#8221; I said cheerfully, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.<\/p>\n<p>He was laughing so hard, he was gasping for air. &#8220;You never said Ninja! You never said it!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah,&#8221; I said. &#8220;But I don&#8217;t think I had to.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think our ninja game might be getting a little out of control&#8230; Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8F2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33296","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33296"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33296\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}