{"id":33284,"date":"2008-12-12T13:37:17","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T13:37:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/12\/12\/enough-with-the-fingers\/"},"modified":"2008-12-12T13:37:17","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T13:37:17","slug":"enough-with-the-fingers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/12\/12\/enough-with-the-fingers\/","title":{"rendered":"Enough with the Fingers"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ever since the Finger of Doom<\/a> made its dramatic return to our lives, our spare time has been peppered with “finger of doom” incidents. To give you an idea of what this is like, imagine yourself going about your daily routine – cooking, cleaning, writing, playing, whatever it is you do. Now imagine a little boy appearing in front of you, one index finger raised high over his head, shouting “finger of doom!”<\/p>\n

If you don’t run, you’re going to get poked hard in the belly. If you do run, you’ll probably get poked. The only defense, therefore, is to raise your own finger and shout “Finger of Doom!” back at your attacker.<\/p>\n

Now you’re in a fencing match that will end once someone gets poked. At that point, the loser crumples bonelessly to the ground while making a pitiful wail. The victor, of course, gets to practice his evil laugh.<\/p>\n

That’s what living with the Finger of Doom is like.<\/p>\n

The other day, however, my oldest son once again decided to be scared. When I surprised him with the finger, he scrambled backwards, squealing “no daddy, no daddy, no!” <\/p>\n

He really appeared scared – even though he had applied the Finger of Doom to his little brother just moments earlier – so I changed my course. I had already said “Finger”, so I couldn’t change that. Instead of saying “of doom,” however, I said “of funny!” and tickled him.<\/p>\n

He thought it was hilarious.<\/p>\n

Five minutes later, he was in the kitchen attacking me with the Finger of Funny. A few minutes after that, he introduced the Finger of Freeze (you have to stop moving when you’re poked).  The Finger of Nothing (which does nothing) followed, and finally, the Finger of Tickle (very similar to the Finger of Funny) made an appearance.<\/p>\n

By the end of the day, we had four separate “finger of” games that could appear at any time, and frequently did, in rapid succession.<\/p>\n

Momma laid down the law at dinner – no fingering allowed during dinner. Then bedtime came. No fingering then either. The next morning, we were forced to outlaw fingering while getting dressed.<\/p>\n

With all the new rules, the games have pretty much stopped. Somehow, though, I doubt we’ve seen the last of Finger of Doom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever since the Finger of Doom made its dramatic return to our lives, our spare time has been peppered with “finger of doom” incidents. To give you an idea of what this is like, imagine yourself going about your daily routine – cooking, cleaning, writing, playing, whatever it is you do. Now imagine a little boy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[118,122],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8EQ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}