A while back we had a stomach virus go round the family. As usual, this meant a couple days of sickness for each of the kids. I was down for a week.<\/p>\n
The virus made itself known during dinner. We were trying to convince C (our 5 year old) to finish his chicken when he opened his mouth and spewed a nasty grey fluid all over the table and everything else.<\/p>\n
We leaped into action, grabbing towels and bowls and everything else we could think of. Once he finished – and the mess was cleaned up – we started the inquisition. <\/p>\n
“Was anyone sick at school?” <\/p>\n
“No”<\/p>\n
“Does anything hurt? Does your head hurt? Does your stomach hurt?”<\/p>\n
“No”<\/p>\n
“What did you eat today? Did anything taste funny?”<\/p>\n
“I know! I ate some crumbs off the floor at school!”<\/p>\n
“What !?!”<\/p>\n
“It looked like oreos.”<\/p>\n
“Was it?”<\/p>\n
He made a nasty face. “No.”<\/p>\n
“So you saw some black stuff on the floor at school and you ate it?”<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
His momma looked like she was about to throwup.<\/p>\n
“Let’s not do that again, okay?”<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
“No eating mysterious stuff off the floor.”<\/p>\n
“Okay, daddy.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A while back we had a stomach virus go round the family. As usual, this meant a couple days of sickness for each of the kids. I was down for a week. The virus made itself known during dinner. We were trying to convince C (our 5 year old) to finish his chicken when he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8Ex","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}