{"id":33229,"date":"2008-02-11T14:41:54","date_gmt":"2008-02-11T14:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/02\/11\/river-dancer\/"},"modified":"2008-02-11T14:41:54","modified_gmt":"2008-02-11T14:41:54","slug":"river-dancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2008\/02\/11\/river-dancer\/","title":{"rendered":"River Dancer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The other night, the kids and I were all wiped out. With their momma out of town, we were winding up a long few days of adventuring. Unfortunately, it was only 5pm. I can&#8217;t put the kids to bed at 5 pm unless they are already asleep. Otherwise, I end up with a battle that lasts until 9pm.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what you might call a &#8220;lose-lose&#8221; situation.<\/p>\n<p>I have two answers to this conundrum. The best one is to read some stories quietly together. The problem there is that if the kids don&#8217;t fall asleep in the first 30 minutes or so, I&#8217;m in trouble. They end up in a kind of holding pattern, quite happy to listen to me read story after story after story, without ever falling asleep.<\/p>\n<p>The other option is to watch a video. Since they were tired, I chose&nbsp;one that I hoped they&#8217;d like &#8211; but had no plot whatsoever. Plotless videos are good because they don&#8217;t encourage wakefulness. In this case, I went with Riverdance.<\/p>\n<p>The three year old was out inside of 15 minutes.<\/p>\n<p>The five year old, however, loved it. I guess that&#8217;s a good thing. We watched it together, talking about the different dances and songs and what they might mean. It was really a lot of fun.<\/p>\n<p>At one point, however, the stage was taken by a single lady dancer in a big flowing dress. She danced a dramatic sensuous number amidst thick clouds of red lit smoke. No, I have no idea how this fits with the Irish theme of Riverdance.<\/p>\n<p>C watched her open-mouthed for a little while, and then whispered to me &#8220;She looks like Ms. Beth.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I chuckled. &#8220;I thought she looked like Momma.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No! I meant her <em>face<\/em>. Her face looks like Ms. Beth.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Woah. That&#8217;s quite a distinction for a five year old to make. What did he think I was looking at? I came up with my usual clever retort: &#8220;Oh yeah?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah,&#8221; he said. &#8220;And momma doesn&#8217;t have a dress.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Now I know that&#8217;s not true. <a title=\"Shop, Momma, Shop!\" href=\"\/?p=95&#038;phpMyAdmin=y7-wyFW16QINBVwSxwbVWn-cg16\">It just isn&#8217;t<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The other night, the kids and I were all wiped out. With their momma out of town, we were winding up a long few days of adventuring. Unfortunately, it was only 5pm. I can&#8217;t put the kids to bed at 5 pm unless they are already asleep. Otherwise, I end up with a battle that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8DX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33229\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}