The other day I was giving the house a thorough vacuuming when N suddenly appeared in front of me. He looked at the vaccuum, threw both hands over his head, and shouted “Oh No!”<\/p>\n
So I chased him with the vacuum, growling and making monster faces. I don’t think he heard me growling. Our vacuum is really loud. I did it anyway, though.<\/p>\n
A little while later his brother arrived.<\/p>\n
I chased him too, growling and making monster faces.<\/p>\n
The kids tired pretty quickly of the monster vacuum, which was good. I did, after all, have to get the floors cleaned. A few minutes after they retreated, I was vacuuming in the kitchen when my wife tilted our trashcan up so I could get underneath it. We have a large heavy wooden trashcan, so this was quite helpful.<\/p>\n
I zoomed over to get under it.<\/p>\n
As I approached, however, my wife shouted, made a truly scary monster face, and faked dropping the trashcan on the vacuum. I laughed and zoomed it around towards her feet, making my own monster face.<\/p>\n
Her expression turned several degrees scarier.<\/p>\n
Suddenly uncertain, I backed away and turned off the vacuum.<\/p>\n
Turns out that the trashcan lid was pinching her finger. The “monster face” was actually a grimace of pain. The “fake” dropping of the trashcan was her trying to find a way of putting it down without breaking the vacuum. <\/p>\n
Oops.<\/p>\n
That’s the trouble with playing monster vacuum. It’s all fun and games until someone loses a finger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The other day I was giving the house a thorough vacuuming when N suddenly appeared in front of me. He looked at the vaccuum, threw both hands over his head, and shouted “Oh No!” So I chased him with the vacuum, growling and making monster faces. I don’t think he heard me growling. Our vacuum is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8DO","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33220"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33220\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}