{"id":33190,"date":"2007-10-10T13:14:47","date_gmt":"2007-10-10T13:14:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2007\/10\/10\/happy-birthday-momma\/"},"modified":"2007-10-10T13:14:47","modified_gmt":"2007-10-10T13:14:47","slug":"happy-birthday-momma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2007\/10\/10\/happy-birthday-momma\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Birthday, Momma!"},"content":{"rendered":"

My official age, as far as the kids are concerned, is “old as the hills<\/a>“. I established this some time ago and am sticking with it.<\/p>\n

Yesterday, N (the three year old) was home sick. It wasn’t anything serious – just a little stomach upset – but enough to keep him home from school.<\/p>\n

As I was eating lunch with him and his momma, she told me a pretty funny story. It seems that the subject of her upcoming birthday had come up the previous night with the kids, and C had asked her if she was older than me or not. She is, and she had told him so.<\/p>\n

“Wow!” He had said. “You must be even older than the hills! That’s old!”<\/p>\n

Pretty funny, huh? Well, I thought so. As I was laughing, N chimed in “No! No! I said that! I said you were older than the hills!”<\/p>\n

His momma stopped laughing and looked at him, “You said that?”<\/p>\n

“Uh-huh. Older than the hills. MUCH older!”<\/p>\n

He was grinning from ear to ear. Momma put on her serious face and shook her finger at him. “Then you’re the one who’s in trouble, and not your brother?”<\/p>\n

The grin faded. “Uh, um… No. Actually, it was him. Yeah. He said that. Not me. Him. Not, uh, me…”<\/p>\n

Momma couldn’t hold it in any more. She burst out laughing and he collapsed into the giggles.<\/p>\n

Happy birthday, momma! I don’t think you’re older than the hills! Well, not much anyway…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My official age, as far as the kids are concerned, is “old as the hills“. I established this some time ago and am sticking with it. Yesterday, N (the three year old) was home sick. It wasn’t anything serious – just a little stomach upset – but enough to keep him home from school. As […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8Dk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33190\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}