Some time ago, we were given rollerboards for the kids. If you don’t know what a rollerboard is, don’t worry. Neither did I. A rollerboard, it turns out, is a square plastic platform, about 2 feet on a side, sitting on four wheels. The wheels are on pivots so the boards can roll in pretty much any direction.<\/p>\n
The idea is that the kids lie on them on their bellies and use their hands and feet to propel themselves around the house.<\/p>\n
There is however, one rule that is strictly and loudly enforced by She Who Must Be Obeyed: no standing on the rollerboards. It’s a good rule. The rollerboards are treacherous things that shoot out from beneath your feet with no warning whatsoever.<\/p>\n
The other day, we were in the kitchen getting dinner ready when I heard a loud thud followed by “OUCH!”. I ran over to the living room in time to see my oldest standing up slowly. He was rubbing his bottom. The roller board was about 5 feet away.<\/p>\n
“I fell” he said.<\/p>\n
“You fell?” I asked, looking meaningfully at the rollerboard.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I was…” He stopped himself, thought for a second, and then continued. “I was…um…lying on the board and I fell and hurt…um…my bottom…”<\/p>\n
His voice kind of trailed off as he spoke. Even he knew how lame it sounded.<\/p>\n
“They can be tricky things, those rollerboards.” I said, walking away.<\/p>\n
He nodded, still rubbing his backside and trying not to wince.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some time ago, we were given rollerboards for the kids. If you don’t know what a rollerboard is, don’t worry. Neither did I. A rollerboard, it turns out, is a square plastic platform, about 2 feet on a side, sitting on four wheels. The wheels are on pivots so the boards can roll in pretty much any direction. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-8CT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33163"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33163\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}