{"id":327,"date":"2007-06-25T12:41:24","date_gmt":"2007-06-25T12:41:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2007\/06\/25\/wrong-patient\/"},"modified":"2007-06-25T12:41:24","modified_gmt":"2007-06-25T12:41:24","slug":"wrong-patient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2007\/06\/25\/wrong-patient\/","title":{"rendered":"Wrong Patient"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Like most little guys, my two boys love to poke. They poke each other. They poke me. They even poke momma &#8211; when they can get away with it. About a year ago, I turned this love of poking to my advantage. We were riding in the car at the time and they were being overly rowdy. Their momma was driving, which meant I was on crowd control.<\/p>\n<p>Feeling inspired, I turned around in my seat so I could see them and held up one finger. They both sort of settled down and looked at it. I&#8217;m not&nbsp;the&nbsp;&nbsp;<a title=\"Scary Finger\" href=\"\/?p=80&#038;phpMyAdmin=y7-wyFW16QINBVwSxwbVWn-cg16\">finger wagger in the family<\/a>, so having me hold my finger up&nbsp;was unusual enough to settle them down.<\/p>\n<p>Then I said &#8220;Slllllooooooowwwww &#8211; POKE!&#8221; I dragged the word slow out really long, and as I said it I moved my finger slowly around in a big circle. When I said poke, of course, I suddenly and quickly poked one of them in the belly.<\/p>\n<p>It was an instant hit and I&#8217;ve been playing slow poke with them ever since.<\/p>\n<p>You can probably guess what&#8217;s coming.<\/p>\n<p>Last week, they were at something called &#8220;vacation bible school&#8221; (a day camp at a local church) when J caught a whole bunch of kids poking each other (she&#8217;s volunteering at the church). As she and the teacher disbanded the pack of rowdies, they discovered my oldest was at the center of it. Of course.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But momma,&#8221; he said. &#8220;we were doing slow poke! That&#8217;s okay!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Whoops.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently, he&#8217;s been teaching it to all his friends &#8211; and they&#8217;ve been taking it back to their families. All of whom now know that I&#8217;m the source of their children&#8217;s renewed interest in poking.<\/p>\n<p>Remember &#8220;<a title=\"Patient 0\" href=\"\/?p=20&#038;phpMyAdmin=y7-wyFW16QINBVwSxwbVWn-cg16\">Patient 0<\/a>&#8220;? <\/p>\n<p>I think I might have got that one wrong. I think <em>I<\/em> may be patent 0. Oh well. Now that the secret is out, I guess I can live with that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Like most little guys, my two boys love to poke. They poke each other. They poke me. They even poke momma &#8211; when they can get away with it. About a year ago, I turned this love of poking to my advantage. We were riding in the car at the time and they were being [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-5h","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=327"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}