For the past few weeks, I’ve been going through a stretch of rather extended professional obligations. Despite my best efforts to do otherwise, I’ve ended up having to work on some weekends. I really hate that.<\/p>\n
One of those working Sundays, my loving wife and children surprised me with a quart of mint chocolate chip ice cream as a nice little gift. It was nice, but I was immediately suspicious. Mint chocolate chip is my wife’s favorite flavor – not mine.<\/p>\n
We each had a bit. It was quite tasty. I put the rest back in the freezer. <\/p>\n
Two days later, however, I discovered it was gone when I went to get us some ice cream for dessert after dinner. I was shocked. “It’s gone?” I asked.<\/p>\n
My wife at least had the good graces to look embarrassed. I wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily, though. “You stole my ice cream?”<\/p>\n
The boys heads swivelled to look at momma, but she couldn’t help herself. She was embarrassed and giggling.<\/p>\n
“You ate the ice cream that you specifically bought for me as a treat?” I asked. “You’re an ice cream thief!”<\/p>\n
The boys were stunned. They were looking around, trying to figure out what to do. I slumped back to my chair. “You have to watch out for momma,” I told them. “She’ll take your ice cream when you’re not looking.”<\/p>\n
She was still trying to stop laughing, so I persisted. “If you have ice cream, and you turn away for even a second, she’ll try to take some. You have to always watch out.”<\/p>\n
Finally, C found his voice. He pointed accusingly at her: “You’re an Ice Cream Burglar!”<\/p>\n
She just nodded yes.<\/p>\n
I have to say, though, that she’s not a particularly good<\/em> ice cream burglar. Really, how did she expect to get away with that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For the past few weeks, I’ve been going through a stretch of rather extended professional obligations. Despite my best efforts to do otherwise, I’ve ended up having to work on some weekends. I really hate that. One of those working Sundays, my loving wife and children surprised me with a quart of mint chocolate chip […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-5c","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=322"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}