{"id":2733,"date":"2015-12-28T11:57:26","date_gmt":"2015-12-28T11:57:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2733"},"modified":"2015-12-28T11:57:26","modified_gmt":"2015-12-28T11:57:26","slug":"daddy-wins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2015\/12\/28\/daddy-wins\/","title":{"rendered":"Daddy Wins?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When I sat down to breakfast the\u00a0other morning, my\u00a0two kids already at the table, giggling and\u00a0tucking their chins back against their necks.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay,&#8221; I said, scooping up a spoonful of Peanut Butter Crunch, &#8220;I give. What are you guys doing?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Having a double chin contest,&#8221; my oldest son said, keeping his head tilted forward so his chin touched his neck. &#8220;Seeing who can have the most chins. Who has more?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8230; uh&#8230; I don&#8217;t know,&#8221; I said, looking back and forth between them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It doesn&#8217;t matter,&#8221; his little brother said to me. &#8220;You win.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then both of them\u00a0exploded with\u00a0laughter.<\/p>\n<p>Lacking any witty comeback, I flung the\u00a0cereal in my spoon at him.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, that just made them\u00a0laugh harder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When is winning losing? When the game is rigged from the start. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,122,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-I5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2733","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2733"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2733\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}