This past\u00a0Labor Day, we took a bike ride to McDonald’s for breakfast. Usually, I get a Sausage McMuffin with Egg, but this time I\u00a0decided to switch\u00a0things up and ordered hot cakes. They came, as they always do, with packets of butter.<\/p>\n
As we were eating and chatting, I noticed\u00a0the writing on the butter packet:<\/p>\n
“WHIPPED BUTTER \u2022 TIPS OUT”<\/p>\n
I held it up. “Hey guys,” I asked. “What the heck does ‘Tips Out’ mean?”<\/p>\n
My wife took it first. “Maybe\u00a0when\u00a0it’s melted, you’re supposed to just tip it out?”<\/p>\n
My youngest son tried next. “I think it’s because of the corners,” he said. “They’re like tips, and you break them to get the butter out.”<\/p>\n
“Maybe it tips out even when it’s not melted?” I said.<\/p>\n
Nobody agreed with that. We worked the problem from all angles, but still\u00a0couldn’t come to any sort of consensus.\u00a0I took the butter to the counter.<\/p>\n
“Hello, McDonald’s expert,” I said loudly.<\/p>\n
The girl\u00a0behind the counter glanced behind herself, then smiled nervously at me. “Can I help you?”<\/p>\n
“We are trying to figure out what this means.” I showed her the butter packet. “What is ‘tips out’?”<\/p>\n
She laughed. “I have no idea. Hold on.”<\/p>\n
She waved over another McDonald’s employee, presumably one who was more senior, though he looked substantially younger. I showed him the butter packet and repeated my question.<\/p>\n
“Um…” he said nervously. “Maybe it tips? I don’t know.”<\/p>\n
He handed it back to me, but I noticed that he kept his hands together, and his\u00a0fingers kept pulling at each other.\u00a0I felt\u00a0bad for him. I hadn’t meant to freak anyone out.<\/p>\n
I leaned forward and spoke quietly. “No worries.\u00a0I just need some kind of authoritative answer to bring back to the table, to\u00a0settle our argument.”<\/p>\n
“Hey,” my family shouted from the table. “We see you! No coaching! That’s not fair!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not,” I called back. “Relax!” I turned back to the guy. “Really,” I said, using as reassuring a tone as I could muster. “It doesn’t matter what you say. Just give me something.”<\/p>\n
He glanced at me, then looked past me to\u00a0my family and said in a loud clear voice “I have no idea.”<\/p>\n
Sheesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some arguments simply have no answer. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-GH","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2647","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2647"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2647\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2647"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2647"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2647"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}