{"id":264,"date":"2014-05-25T13:20:18","date_gmt":"2014-05-25T17:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/?p=264"},"modified":"2019-10-23T22:04:02","modified_gmt":"2019-10-24T02:04:02","slug":"the-art-of-being-critiqued-7-rules-to-die-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2014\/05\/25\/the-art-of-being-critiqued-7-rules-to-die-by\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Being Critiqued: 7 Rules to Die by"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/?p=252\">Knowing how to critique other writers<\/a> is only half the challenge of the critique process. The other half, the harder half, is hearing other people&nbsp;critique your work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s hard to sit across the table from someone and listen to&nbsp;them methodically shred a piece of writing&nbsp;that you&nbsp;think is near perfect. At times like those, embarrassment, resentment, and good old-fashioned self-doubt can be&nbsp;louder than whatever words your well-intentioned critiquer is saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are seven guidelines that I use to both take the sting out of critiques and&nbsp;to maximize the benefit I get from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Never apologize<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>&#8220;I know it&#8217;s not perfect, but . . .&#8221;&nbsp;<\/em><br><em>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t have much time to work on this. . .&#8221;&nbsp;<\/em><br><em>&#8220;I&nbsp;don&#8217;t usually write in this style. . .&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What&#8217;s the first thing most&nbsp;new writers do when they show their work? They apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From an attitude perspective, apologizing for your creation&nbsp;is incredibly destructive. It&#8217;s a public announcement of your own insecurities, and it&nbsp;gives them a power and persistence that they don&#8217;t deserve. Stand behind your work&nbsp;unflinchingly. Yes, the critiques may sting a bit more, but you&#8217;ll feel better about yourself, and work harder to make it better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On a more practical note, apologizing also pollutes the critique process. We want our readers to judge our work as it stands, not through a filter of &#8220;I&#8217;ve got to make the writer feel better&#8221; or &#8220;even the writer doesn&#8217;t like this, so I can&#8217;t either.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Never answer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>&#8220;But you don&#8217;t understand. . .&#8221;<\/em><br><em>&#8220;What you don&#8217;t know is that that character had this happen. . .&#8221;<\/em><br><em>&#8220;But that&#8217;s&nbsp;what I want the reader to feel. . .&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When someone is critiquing your work, just smile and nod. Don&#8217;t&nbsp;explain or apologize. In fact, the only response that&#8217;s really acceptable is to say&nbsp;&#8220;thank you.&#8221;&nbsp;This rule is the hardest of all the rules, but it&#8217;s also one of the most important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When&nbsp;you respond to a critique, you pollute&nbsp;the rest of the critique that is given. Responding can make&nbsp;critiquers start to doubt their&nbsp;own impressions of the work, or intimidate them into not giving more feedback, or make them feel sorry for you and soften&nbsp;their other comments. In all&nbsp;of these cases, you&#8217;re&nbsp;missing out on valuable feedback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another reason not to answer is because you&#8217;ll get into arguments&nbsp;over the work, arguments that are ultimately pointless, because you won&#8217;t be able to have them with your actual readers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Have a Thick Skin<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember that it&#8217;s not you that&#8217;s being critiqued. Neither is it your craft or your writing style. What&#8217;s being critiqued is a very specific&nbsp;piece of writing. Don&#8217;t let your hurt feelings go beyond that. Focus on improving the writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you can&#8217;t stop yourself from getting upset, keep a lid on it during the critique session. Don&#8217;t worry.&nbsp;There&#8217;ll be plenty of time for you to wail and gnash your teeth later, when there&#8217;s no one around to watch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Take Notes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I find taking notes during a critique incredibly helpful. Not only are they helpful later on, when I&#8217;m incorporating the critiques into my work, but they also give me a sense of distance from the criticisms. It&#8217;s like I&#8217;m a reporter, writing down&nbsp;the problems found in this piece of writing that someone else wrote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Also, I get to write myself little messages like &#8220;I love donuts&#8221; and &#8220;Remember to bring donuts next time.&#8221; Sometimes, I even draw donuts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because donuts make everything better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. Be a Critiquer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This sounds like a weird one, but stick with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The typical attitude when being critiqued is that everyone else is critiquing you, and you&#8217;re&nbsp;listening. Flip that on its ear. It&#8217;s not everyone else critiquing you, it&#8217;s everyone (including you) critiquing the writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You&#8217;re a part of the team that&#8217;s doing the critique, not the focus of a weirdly polite&nbsp;inquisition.&nbsp;You always want to be on the side of your readers, even when they&#8217;re shredding your work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. Think in Terms of Opportunities<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A lot of&nbsp;criticisms, even those that seem crushing at first, are&nbsp;openings for you to improve both&nbsp;the&nbsp;writing being critiqued and your craft. Because this one sounds so obtuse,&nbsp;I&#8217;ll give you some examples from my writing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Critique<\/strong>: &#8220;This was a total surprise to me. It didn&#8217;t make sense.&#8221;<br><strong>Opportunity<\/strong>: I went&nbsp;back through earlier chapters, weaving in the groundwork for the scene she was responding to. Along the way,&nbsp;I discovered a minor theme that I could use to enhance the overall theme of the piece. I didn&#8217;t start out&nbsp;intending to make changes to that depth, but they definitely&nbsp;strengthened the piece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Critique<\/strong>: &#8220;You need more quote tags here. I got lost in who was speaking.&#8221;<br><strong>Opportunity<\/strong>: The solution to this one was obvious: add some more &#8220;he said&nbsp;\/&nbsp;she said&#8221;s. I&nbsp;did that. It bothered me, though, that my characters&#8217; diction wasn&#8217;t distinctive enough. I went back through the entire book, making sure that the character voices were strong and distinctive enough to be recognizable without tags. Along the way, I found places&nbsp;where I could&nbsp;deepen the reader&#8217;s understanding of the characters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you see what I mean? When you get a critique, look for an opportunity to improve the work even more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7. You&#8217;re the Boss<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is both my favorite and my most frightening. The bottom line on a critique is that it&#8217;s up to you. If, after honestly considering a criticism,&nbsp;you&nbsp;decide that you don&#8217;t want to make a change, you don&#8217;t have to. Your writing is yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being the boss is fun. The power lies in your hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being the boss is also frightening. It means that no one is telling me&nbsp;what&#8217;s &#8220;right.&#8221;&nbsp;Often,&nbsp;I get conflicting critiques. One reader tells me a scene is great, and another recommends cutting it. These discussions almost always end with the readers shrugging and saying &#8220;well,&nbsp;it&#8217;s up to you, really.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yikes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Assuming you&#8217;re not writing to a formula, there is no &#8220;right answer.&#8221; There&#8217;s only &#8220;your answer,&#8221; and hopefully it&#8217;s effective for your target readers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a final note to this rule, don&#8217;t let it go&nbsp;to your head.&nbsp;The reason you&#8217;re getting critiques is to hear from other people, so be sure you listen to them. Don&#8217;t just ignore them with the excuse that you&#8217;re the boss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">I hope these have helped!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As weird as it sounds, I&#8217;ve gotten to the point where&nbsp;I often&nbsp;enjoy&nbsp;getting critiqued. Not always, of course. We all have those&nbsp;embarrassing moments where something just doesn&#8217;t work. That&#8217;s when I remind myself to stick to my rules, to only say &#8220;thank you,&#8221; and to never explain or apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I also draw a lot of donuts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you not just survive a critique session, but benefit from it? Here are seven guidelines that might help. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[20,22,96],"class_list":["post-264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-craft","tag-critique","tag-writing-2"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-4g","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=264"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3414,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions\/3414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}