Ever since I could sit in a chair, I’ve been tilting. I don’t know why, but I find\u00a0balancing\u00a0on two chair legs infinitely preferable to sitting squarely on four.\u00a0Unfortunately,\u00a0my lovely wife isn’t a big fan of tilting\u00a0and has banned the practice. She has two reasons, one good (it breaks chairs) and one silly (it’s dangerous).<\/p>\n
The boys, of course,\u00a0are on my side of this particular debate, and tilt their chairs whenever they think their mom isn’t looking.<\/p>\n
The other day, it was just the the boys and me\u00a0at dinner, and I noticed that they were both tilting.<\/p>\n
“Come on, guys,” I said. “You know your mom doesn’t like tilting.”<\/p>\n
They looked\u00a0around the kitchen. “She’s not here,” my oldest said.<\/p>\n
“Really?” I said. “Is that what you’re going with?”<\/p>\n
“You’re tilting,” his little brother pointed out.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, but\u00a0I’m allowed.”<\/p>\n
They looked at each other, then at me.<\/p>\n
“Okay,” I corrected myself. “Let’s say I won’t get in trouble.”<\/p>\n
They laughed. “Sure you won’t.”<\/p>\n
“Okay,” I said, “then how about this.\u00a0I’m\u00a0the only adult at this table and I say it’s okay for me but not for you.”<\/p>\n
“That’s not fair!”<\/p>\n
“No,” I agreed. “No, it’s not. Also, I hereby decree\u00a0that you have to eat your broccoli and I do not.”<\/p>\n
“Oh no you don’t!” my youngest said, putting the front legs of his chair back on the floor. “You’re eating that broccoli.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah!” His brother brought his own chair back down to the floor with a bang. “Every last bite!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hidden somewhere in this tale is a nugget of truth. I’ll let you decided where. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-Gm","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2626\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}