Sophie, the dog, has not been very happy with us lately. First, her brother died. She didn’t understand that at all. Then, she had surgery to remove a bunch of weird lumps. Now, she looks like franken-dog with half a dozen large scars in the middle of shaved patches.<\/p>\n
She has been acting\u00a0out her displeasure in the most effective method possible: by peeing.<\/p>\n
The other day, while my youngest son was lying on the couch sick, she walked to the center of the den and pee’ed right in front of him.<\/p>\n
He was, as you might imagine, both shocked and disgusted.<\/p>\n
Since then, my message to the boys has been to take Sophie out whenever she starts to look even a little bit interested in the rug. Today, I was talking to my oldest son on the phone, warning him about Sophie.<\/p>\n
“I know, I know,” he said. “If she pees, you’ll yell at me.”<\/p>\n
“No I won’t,” I said. “It’s not a yelling situation.”<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
“Of course not. This is a ‘go clean it up’ situation. There’s no yelling involved.”<\/p>\n
He pondered that for a moment. “I think I’m going to let her out,” he said. “I’ve got to go.”<\/p>\n
Smart boy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What’s better than yelling, the truth. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-FF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2583"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2583\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}