{"id":2489,"date":"2015-01-05T11:14:23","date_gmt":"2015-01-05T16:14:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2489"},"modified":"2015-01-05T11:14:23","modified_gmt":"2015-01-05T16:14:23","slug":"too-innocent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2015\/01\/05\/too-innocent\/","title":{"rendered":"Too innocent"},"content":{"rendered":"

After seeing the ads for it all month, we\u00a0decided to watch the new television show Galavant last night. It turned out to be a weird musical comedy.<\/span><\/p>\n

How weird? Early on, the evil king sang a song about how he was going to “do it” with the woman he was forcing to marry him.<\/span><\/p>\n

I glanced at my wife. “If this doesn’t get better, I’m fine with switching to something else.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I like it,” my oldest son said.<\/span><\/p>\n

“What does he mean by ‘doing it’?” his little brother asked, standing up and looking intently at his mom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She\u00a0and I exchanged another look.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSex,\u201d she said. \u201cHe\u2019s talking about sex.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d he said. \u201cDid you guys do that the night you were married?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUhh\u2026\u201d my wife said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Something about the little guy\u2019s wide-eyed expression clued me in. It was too innocent, too pure. \u201cThat\u2019s enough,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

The corners of his mouth twitched, then a full-face smile escaped his control.\u00a0<\/span>Giggling, he dropped back into his seat to watch the show.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When is innocent too innocent? When it’s evil. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-E9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}