{"id":2181,"date":"2014-01-31T13:37:28","date_gmt":"2014-01-31T18:37:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2181"},"modified":"2014-01-31T13:37:28","modified_gmt":"2014-01-31T18:37:28","slug":"i-knew-it-wouldnt-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2014\/01\/31\/i-knew-it-wouldnt-last\/","title":{"rendered":"I knew it wouldn&#8217;t last"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Not too long ago, I hit on the genius idea of having one of the kids be in charge of getting us out the door in the mornings (<a href=\"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=2175\">click here for details<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>When I woke my youngest up this morning, I realized that I didn&#8217;t know whose turn it was.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Time to get up,&#8221; I shouted, then launched into our traditional <a href=\"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=974\">morning song<\/a>. He groaned and stretched.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hey,&#8221; I said. &#8220;You want to be the boss this morning?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nah,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I&#8217;m good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Surprised, I went and woke up his brother. &#8220;Hey kiddo,&#8221; I said. &#8220;Time to get up. You want to be the boss this morning?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nah,&#8221; he said. &#8220;You can do it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t <em>want<\/em> to do it.&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Me neither.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sheesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And so ends one of my most brilliant parenting maneuvers ever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-zb","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}