This morning the boys had cross country, which means they had to get into school an hour earlier. I woke them up, as always, got their breakfasts made and put into bags (they eat them after they run, rather than before), and made sure they were all packed up.<\/p>\n
Then, as we were walking to the garage, my wife volunteered to drive them in. With them going in so early, she can do that and still get to work on time.<\/p>\n
“Sure,” I said. “I’m fine with that.”<\/p>\n
The kids were already in the minivan. “Hey guys,” I called. “Mind if Momma drives you in?”<\/p>\n
“No,” my youngest shouted back. “That’s better. She doesn’t yell at us!”<\/p>\n
Both he and his brother started laughing like maniacs.<\/p>\n
“Yell at you?” I stood in the doorway to the garage, more than a little stunned. “I don’t yell at you.”<\/p>\n
“You mean other than every day?” my oldest son shouted back.<\/p>\n
“I’m gonna<\/em> yell at you,” I said. “Really, really soon.”<\/p>\n It was too late, though. My wife was already backing out of the garage.<\/p>\n Sheesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I know that parents are not supposed to refer to their children as rats, but in this particular case, I think we can all agree they earned it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,122],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-yY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2168"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2168\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}