Last night, my wife felt a sudden urge to get an X-Ray. It turned out to be nothing serious, but it left me in charge of cooking dinner. Fortunately, we had pork chops in the fridge. I broke out a frying pan, some olive oil, and some Thai seasoning. Even I can cook pork chops, right?<\/p>\n
Not so much. First I burned the oil, then I burned the chops.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, no one was around. I sliced the meat into thin strips so you couldn’t tell they were burned, then created sandwiches out of them. Throw in a side of macaroni and cheese, and I had a meal that the kids didn’t complain about.<\/p>\n
This morning I caught Gus (the black lab) standing on his back legs so he could lick spattered oil off the counter. Apparently, I had made a bigger mess than I realized.<\/p>\n
When my family members came home from their schools this afternoon, I warned them to keep an eye on Gus, to make sure he stayed off the counters.<\/p>\n
“Well,” my oldest son said with a smile, “at least someone likes the pork chops!”<\/p>\n
“What!?” I said. “No respect! None!”<\/p>\n
“He’s just like his dad,” my wife interrupted, patting my cheek.<\/p>\n
Hmph.<\/p>\n
Next time they can cook their own bleepin’ pork chops!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The point of this story is not that I’m a terrible chef. Really, it’s not. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-xU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2102\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}