A few months back, my oldest son started swallowing his T’s. Instead of “Lawton,” he’d say “Law’on.”<\/p>\n
Interesting became inneressing, captains turned into cap’ns, and mountains were suddenly mao’uns.<\/p>\n
It’s been driving me absolutely crazy. I’ve tried everything I can to get him to stop, and have finally been reduced to that most worthless of parenting techniques: threatening.<\/p>\n
“Swallow another t,” I said the other day, “and you’re done eating for the day.” We had just sat down for dinner, and he had unleashed torrent of t-less words.<\/p>\n
Unreasonable, I know… Did I mention it was driving me crazy?<\/p>\n
“That’s pre’-ey rough,” his little brother said.<\/p>\n
“What did you say?”<\/p>\n
“I said it was pret-oh no!”<\/p>\n
I swung my dangerous daddy glare back and forth between them. “Now you’re doing it, too? It’s like some sort of weird disease!”<\/p>\n
“Don’t worry Daddy,” the little guy said. “I won’t swallow my ee’s!”<\/p>\n
There was a moment of silence as I stared at him, then he burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
“Eee’s?” his older brother said. “”You said you won’t swallow your . .” Suddenly, he figured it out, and started laughing so hard that tears squeezed out of the corners of his eyes.<\/p>\n
“Come on, Dad.” The little miscreant said. “That was pretty funny. Ya gotta admit it.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. “Just eat your dinner.”<\/p>\n
“Ees!” his older brother crowed. He won’ swallow his ees!”<\/p>\n
Sigh.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t know how much of this was planned and how much was spontaneous. Either way, it was pretty darned funny. Just don’t tell the kids I admitted that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,118,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-x7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2053\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}