This is not the daddytale I intended to post today. I was actually typing up today’s tale when I was interrupted by screaming from downstairs. Now that I’ve dealt with the screaming, I’ve decided to write it up as an instant daddytale. I don’t usually do this, but we’ll see how it goes.<\/p>\n
Now, to get back to the tale… I was upstairs on the computer when I heard the shouting start. Shouting isn’t completely unusual, so I didn’t worry about it. Unfortunately, it quickly escalated to screaming and shouting.<\/p>\n
In our house, screaming is the equivalent of the batsignal. You have to respond. I left the computer and leapt down the stairs to see what was going on. I’d continue the Batman analogy, but I twisted my ankle slightly on the way down. Never fear, however. I’ll recover.<\/p>\n
I stumbled into the den to find the two boys sitting at their table, watching TV and screaming. Actually, only N was screaming. His big brother was shouting “No! Keep it down! I can’t hear the TV! Shhh! Quiet! I can’t hear!”<\/p>\n
Needless to say, this was not helping things. After I stopped the noise, I started the investigation as to exactly what was going on. The crime, it turned out, had been committed by C. He had stolen his little brother’s chocolate milk. <\/p>\n
In fact, it was still in his hand. He had been sipping from it in between shouts at his little brother to keep quiet.<\/p>\n
Now that’s cold: steal your brother’s chocolate milk and then yell at him for disturbing your TV watching.<\/p>\n
However, I confess that I’m mildly disappointed. Clearly, the appropriate way to pull off such a crime would have been to pretend to hide the chocolate milk in his bedroom. That would have bought him enough time to watch his show and finish the milk before I arrived to foil his evil plot.<\/p>\n
I didn’t share this with the little miscreant, however. Instead, I righted the wrong and returned to my batcave. Er, I mean computer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is not the daddytale I intended to post today. I was actually typing up today’s tale when I was interrupted by screaming from downstairs. Now that I’ve dealt with the screaming, I’ve decided to write it up as an instant daddytale. I don’t usually do this, but we’ll see how it goes. Now, to get […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-3j","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}