{"id":183,"date":"2006-06-23T12:18:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-23T12:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2006\/06\/23\/shoulder-wars\/"},"modified":"2006-06-23T12:18:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-23T12:18:00","slug":"shoulder-wars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2006\/06\/23\/shoulder-wars\/","title":{"rendered":"Shoulder Wars"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am, all modesty aside, quite talented at carrying kids on my shoulders. It&#8217;s an unusual and singularly unmarketable talent, but that&#8217;s the way it is. To me, carrying a child on your shoulder is like being a roller coaster. Sure, you can just plod along, but it&#8217;s more fun to make it exciting. It&#8217;s not as easy as it sounds. There&#8217;s a rhythm to&nbsp;it that most people haven&#8217;t mastered, and a whole host of choices to make. For example, I prefer holding their feet to holding their hands. That gives you more options. Hopping, spinning, turning, ducking, and bowing are all available to you. It&#8217;s a little more high risk &#8211; because they can flop over backwards if you get too crazy &#8211; but I can manage it. It also makes the &#8220;short run&#8221; move much more exciting.<\/p>\n<p>As you might imagine, when we&#8217;re at an amusement park the kids prefer being on my shoulders to being on their momma&#8217;s. When both kids are so tired they need to be carried, however, I get C. He&#8217;s substantially bigger, and it&#8217;s only fair that the bigger parent carry the bigger kid.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the way it was yesterday when we were down at the Magic Kingdom for N&#8217;s birthday trip. We were walking up main street with the kids on our shoulders when N called out &#8220;Wait!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It was a very commanding little yell. We all stopped. &#8220;Yes?&#8221; I asked.<\/p>\n<p>He shouted &#8220;Wait!&#8221; again, just to make sure we were ready.<\/p>\n<p>We all waited for a few seconds, and then he started counting. &#8220;One&#8230;.Two&#8230;Three&#8230; Switch!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And he held his hands out to me.<\/p>\n<p>There was a pause while we tried to figure out what he meant. His older brother got it first and shouted &#8220;No! No Switching! You&#8217;re on Momma, and I&#8217;m on Daddy. You&#8217;re on Momma!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The little guy tried again. &#8220;One&#8230; Two&#8230; Three&#8230; Switch!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>It was a really good try. We almost switched just as a reward for the counting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am, all modesty aside, quite talented at carrying kids on my shoulders. It&#8217;s an unusual and singularly unmarketable talent, but that&#8217;s the way it is. To me, carrying a child on your shoulder is like being a roller coaster. Sure, you can just plod along, but it&#8217;s more fun to make it exciting. It&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,121],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-the-kids"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-2X","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}