After the soccer game the other day, we took the boys and some of their friends out for pizza.<\/p>\n
We’d lost the game, and the kids were all buzzing about it: what worked, what didn’t work, and how they could do better. For the most part, I was just listening and nodding.<\/p>\n
“What you need on defense,” one announced. “is really big boobs!”<\/p>\n
Every head turned toward him, including my wife’s. “Excuse me?” she said.<\/p>\n
“What?” He looked around. “That’s what good defenders need: really big boobs . . .” Suddenly, he turned bright red. “Booms! Really big booms!”<\/p>\n
As the table erupted with laughter, my wife looked at me.<\/p>\n
“Boom kicks,” I explained. “That’s what we call the really big kicks.”<\/p>\n
“Oh!” She turned back to the boy. “Pretty funny, huh?”<\/p>\n
He wasn’t listening. He’d pulled his shirt up to cover his head.<\/p>\n
Can’t say I blame him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Finally, the answer to what every good soccer player needs. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-ti","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1816","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1816"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1816\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}