{"id":1777,"date":"2012-12-17T05:00:13","date_gmt":"2012-12-17T10:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=1777"},"modified":"2012-12-17T05:00:13","modified_gmt":"2012-12-17T10:00:13","slug":"hit-my-brother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2012\/12\/17\/hit-my-brother\/","title":{"rendered":"Hit My Brother"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On Saturday, after a rather particular unpleasant moment between the boys, I gave my oldest son a college-ruled piece of paper and told him he had to write &#8220;I will not hit my brother&#8221; once on every line.<\/p>\n<p>As he started to work, I took his younger brother out of the room to assign him his own punishment.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it was one of those &#8220;everyone is wrong&#8221; sort of moments.<\/p>\n<p>I went back to check on my oldest. He had written &#8220;I will not&#8221; on every line.<\/p>\n<p>He glanced over his shoulder at me, then started back at the top line and wrote &#8220;hit my brother&#8221; on it.<\/p>\n<p>I sighed and walked away.<\/p>\n<p>Of all the ways that I thought that punishment could go wrong, I never dreamed it would end with him grinning to himself as he wrote &#8220;hit my brother&#8221; over and over again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think this probably classifies as the worst punishment ever. Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[118,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-sF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1777"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}