Due to one reason or another, I had lots of late nights last week. I woke up late Friday morning, late and groggy. After pulling on some clothes, I ran out to get breakfast ready, but found no cereal in the closet and no eggs in the refrigerator.<\/p>\n
“Okay, guys,” I said. “Come on. We’ve got to go!”<\/p>\n
“But we haven’t eaten!”<\/p>\n
“Trust me.”<\/p>\n
I drove to McDonalds. As we were getting out of the car, I reminded them of the time. “We have 9 minutes to eat,” I said. “But what we don’t finish here, we can eat in the car.”<\/p>\n
They were excited, of course, and we gulped down a McDonald’s breakfast.<\/p>\n
As I turned into the school parking lot to drop them off, my oldest spoke up. “What about lunch?”<\/p>\n
I’d completely forgotten to make their lunches.<\/p>\n
“I guess you’re buying today.”<\/p>\n
They both laughed.<\/p>\n
Yep, that’s me, the funny forgets-to-feed-his-kids daddy. Sigh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Am I a sitcom dad? Why yes, yes I am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-rt","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1703"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1703\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}