Against my better judgement, J decided to teach C to go potty standing up. Why do I say against my better judgement? Because he’s just barely tall enough and he’s easily distracted. This is a combination that seems to me like a recipe for disaster.<\/p>\n
Once she put the idea in his head, however, she quickly discovered that she didn’t know what’s involved in the process of little boys standing in front of a potty. She tried to get me to help by explaining to me why it’s absolutely necessary<\/em> for him to learn. When I was unmoved, she finally fell back on admitting that she’d already started and didn’t know what she was doing.<\/p>\n So there I was the other night, in the bathroom with the little guy dropping his trousers.<\/p>\n Have you ever been forced into a situation that you know is going to go badly? Do you know that sinking feeling that comes with certain impending doom? If not, congratulations, and I hope you have kids some day. If so, well, that was where I was.<\/p>\n I squatted next to him and positioned him so close to the potty that the top of his legs were touching. Then I told him to use his hand and aim for the water at the bottom of the toilet. I impressed upon him the importance of making sure it only went in the water. Everything went well. When he was done, I told him to give a little shake to make sure there weren’t any drips left.<\/p>\n He leapt back and shook his whole body as if he were a dog shaking the water out of his fur. Little golden droplets sprayed everywhere.<\/p>\n Horrified I tried to stand up and back away, but stumbled and fell backwards against the doorjamb. “No! No! Just your pee-pee! Just shake your pee-pee!”<\/p>\n He planted his feet firmly in place and shook his hips around, looking down at his privates and laughing.<\/p>\n More little drops were flung about the bathroom.<\/p>\n Then he looked down at his foot and stopped laughing. “Uh-oh. Daddy, I got some pee-pee on my foot.”<\/p>\n Big surprise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Against my better judgement, J decided to teach C to go potty standing up. Why do I say against my better judgement? Because he’s just barely tall enough and he’s easily distracted. This is a combination that seems to me like a recipe for disaster. Once she put the idea in his head, however, she quickly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[123,118,120,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-c","category-daddytales-embarassing","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-2K","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=170"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}