{"id":1298,"date":"2011-08-08T07:27:24","date_gmt":"2011-08-08T12:27:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stories.daddytales.com\/?p=1298"},"modified":"2011-08-08T07:27:24","modified_gmt":"2011-08-08T12:27:24","slug":"a-church-conspiracy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2011\/08\/08\/a-church-conspiracy\/","title":{"rendered":"A Church Conspiracy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sitting through a whole church service can be tough on a seven-year old, but my youngest does his best to pay attention. Yesterday morning, though, was a tough one. He&#8217;s been up late several nights in a row, and sitting in the pew and keeping quiet was sorely taxing his ability to stay awake.<\/p>\n<p>Toward the end of the service, there was a contemplative moment with quiet instrumental music.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Daddy,&#8221; he whispered to me desperately, his eyes half-closed, &#8220;why are they playing sleepy music?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s a challenge,&#8221; I whispered back. &#8220;They&#8217;re trying to make you fall asleep.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>His eyes widened in alarm, and then he smiled. &#8220;Da-addy!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hasn&#8217;t everyone felt this way at least once in their lives? I know I have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[123,122,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-cute","category-daddytales-n","category-daddytales-funny"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-kW","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}