{"id":128,"date":"2006-01-30T13:08:38","date_gmt":"2006-01-30T13:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2006\/01\/30\/car-ride-of-the-absurd\/"},"modified":"2006-01-30T13:08:38","modified_gmt":"2006-01-30T13:08:38","slug":"car-ride-of-the-absurd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/2006\/01\/30\/car-ride-of-the-absurd\/","title":{"rendered":"Car ride of the absurd"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We are currently in the &#8220;Pirate&#8221; phase of development with C. There are a lot of &#8220;avast there, matey!&#8221; and &#8220;Arr&#8221;s and that sort of thing. In fact, we&#8217;ve discovered that talking like a pirate is very easy. Just drop your voice down and make it as gravelly as you can. Stick a pirate beginning on every sentence, go really fast through the rest of the sentence, and then draw out the last word (or add a pirate ending).<\/p>\n<p>For example, &#8220;It&#8217;s time to get in the car&#8221;, turns into &#8220;Arr matey, it be time for us to be gettin in the caaarrr.&#8221; When you get to the word &#8220;it&#8221;, go really fast through the last &#8220;the&#8221; and then go really slow with &#8220;car&#8221;, drawing it out like it&#8217;s another &#8220;arr&#8221;. Try it, you&#8217;ll see.<\/p>\n<p>In any case, the other evening, as we were driving back from a restaurant, C and I were conversing in Pirate lingo. I was saying things like &#8220;Avast there, it be a red light. Shiver me timbers!&#8221; and C was saying things like &#8220;Arrr, where&#8217;s my cup, matey?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As this was going on, we passed a place called &#8220;Super Suppers&#8221; which J had been meaning to talk to me about. Perhaps, since she was not talking like a pirate, she thought that a serious conversation could be had. In any case, this is roughly how the dialog went.<\/p>\n<p>J: &#8220;Have I told you about that place?&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;Arr, no ye haven&#8217;t matey!&#8221;<br \/>C: &#8220;Avast there, me hearties!&#8221;<br \/>J: &#8220;They prepare meals for you to cook at home. They&#8217;re supposed to be really good.&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;Shiver me timbers! If we&#8217;re going to go out to eat, I&#8217;d like them to be doing the cookin&#8217;! Arr&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>C: &#8220;Arr, Momma!&#8221;<br \/>J: &#8220;It&#8217;s only $120 for 6 meals..&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;Avast there! $20 a meal be a lot of money!&#8221;<br \/>J: &#8220;Well, each one is for 6 people&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>C: &#8220;Arr, it&#8217;s another red light, daddy!&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;Arr, that it is, matey. We&#8217;ve only got two adults and two kids in our family, momma!&#8221;<br \/>J: &#8220;Exactly, so the meals would last more than one meal.&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;Arr, so we pay $20 a meal and get to have leftovers? What could be better, eh matey?&#8221;<br \/>C: &#8220;Aye, matey!&#8221;<br \/>J: &#8220;But if you compare it to going out, it&#8217;s much cheaper.&#8221;<br \/>Me: &#8220;But we wouldn&#8217;t be going out. Uh&#8230; &#8216;Arrr, matey&#8217;. We&#8217;d be cookin&#8217; it ourselves, we would.&#8221;<br \/>C: &#8220;Avast matey, I dropped my cup! Hey, I dropped my cup!&#8221;<br \/>J (reaching back to pick up his cup): &#8220;Well, I think we should try it.&#8221;<br \/>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You get the idea. The whole thing was quite bizarre. N stayed out of it. Who knows what he thought of us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We are currently in the &#8220;Pirate&#8221; phase of development with C. There are a lot of &#8220;avast there, matey!&#8221; and &#8220;Arr&#8221;s and that sort of thing. In fact, we&#8217;ve discovered that talking like a pirate is very easy. Just drop your voice down and make it as gravelly as you can. Stick a pirate beginning [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[121],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daddytales-the-kids"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DpYi-24","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pat-matthews.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}